In the 1600s, Salem put people in trial for being witches. Today we are much more enlightened; Salem puts people on trial for not being honest-to-God, actual witches. Or something like that. In the comment section of my previous post Niklas Blanchard (I wish he was still blogging) reminded me that my impoverished imagination is incapable of dreaming up any absurd analogy that is too far-fetched to be true: