One can understand the allure of “aspirational” wearables, no matter how idiotic one looks when peeking from under a Borg-esque (and now flopped) Google visor or when taking a selfie while chatting to their “New Paranomral” iTimex: the whole point is simply to appear more affluent, more powerful, and generally more important than the guy next door who isn’t dressed like a Borg zombie and actually has a life. What, however, we can’t explain is the relentless surge in sales of “luxury” toilet paper.